There Is No Such Thing As A Homosexual Man: Just Heterosexual Men With A Homosexual Problem
This conversation will primarily center around male sexuality, however the transverse of the logic applies to women as well.
Every now and then I have the opportunity to have a real conversation with a man who claims he is “homosexual.” Well, as Christians we know there is no such thing as a human that is born homosexual, that in fact all men and women are straight, yet some have a “homosexual problem.” This means that due to a variety of reason, none of which include genetics, a man or a woman chooses a path that is opposite of what he was biologically designed to do. Now, in a nutshell, for males, this is caused by a lack of fatherly influence at milestone ages throughout the childhood, and an over-bonding to the mother and female figures/relatives in the boy’s life, this the “male” or the manly image is foreign to him once he is grown up and an adult, thus he is “attracted” to men. Naturally, as humans, both men and women are attracted to what they do not understand and what they have little familiarity with, thus the child who grows up with only one main sexual influence will be skewed as an adult. Many statistics back up this idea of lacking influence, and it is seen in studies of the single parent home. Many times, girls and boys who grow up to favor the same sex come from single parent homes, or homes where one parent was distant, separated, or not involved with the child. In many cases, we want to cast blame 100% on the parents, and while yes, the child sexuality is mainly formed by the parents, many parents find themselves in shock thinking they were actively following the right steps and guidelines along the way as a parent. This is evident in cases where the father is as involved as the mother, yet the child still claims that as an adult he is “homosexual,” when in fact he is a heterosexual man with a homosexual problem. The father, although involved in these case, have been found to be submissive fathers, and more like mothers who coddle their children at every turn, and never let the child learn the “hard way” to put it easily. The over-coddling of childern is also a segway into homosexuality problems later in life, especially if that coddling is done by a father to a son. The perspective of the “dad” becomes anaogous with the “mother” and the child is left with two mothers, and no real male influence to create a boy who is familiar with male/masculine examples.
Sometimes in society there is too many absolutes thrown from both the left and the right sides of the isles, and both sides want to pinpoint how a person gets a certain way, why they get that way, and close the book on it and move on. Heterosexual men who have homosexual problems call themselves “gay,” yet don’t know about their own confusion, because so few of them try to analyze and really dg deep on how their childhood has shaped them. the “gay” men who realize they are really heterosexual later in life are few and far between, usually only coming to such a conclusion after years of introspect and counseling. Their homosexuality in fact though is a repairative behavior based on their childhood. Many gay men take exception to the term “repairative therapy,” thinking that it means someone is trying to repair them, or a counselor looks at them as needing to be “fixed.” but the term “RepairativeTherapy” is actually referring to their homosexual/gay lifestyle that has consumed them. Rather than a counselor using this term as an action he would perform on a patient, this term is actually a synonym for the gay mans actions and lifestyle. Claiming to be “gay” and claiming to be a homosexual is their own unconscious internal repairative therapy that goes on inside of themselves at all times. Their confused lifestyle is their subconscious way of handling what was lacking in their childhood, and now being “gay” is like a patchwork job, just trying to hold themselves together. Gay men, statistically as a whole, cry more than heterosexual women. Some people might find this hard to swallow given that women tend to be more fragile, and prone to crying in certain situations, however gay men who did not have the right childhood influences growing up and lacked a strong male influence in their life to familiarize themselves with who they were inside and what they are to become, have many sessions where they claim to just “break down” for no reason at all. This overflow of emotions is usually cast off by the public as being a “wimp” or a “sissy”, but this boy was never shown how to act in this situation, perhaps was over protected by mother since father was not around to do his job, and the balance of the child’s sexuality is thrown into a state that soon, as he grown into adolescents just becomes “the way he is.” As Christians, outside the situation, when we hear a gay man say, “Well, this is just the way I am,” we are to understand that what he means to say, yet unconsciously does not know it yet, is “I am this way because of my view of male sexuality is augmented and skewed based on the reality of my childhood, environment, and internal choices I have made along the way on how to handle those situations in my childhood.” you will never heard a gay man say this to you, because he has not examined his childhood, gone back to see what was different about his life, and why things turned out the way they did. He has no reason to do this, because he thinks “being gay” is equivalent with “being yourself,” so in rare cases further investigation is never done by gay men, and they continue on with their homosexual problem, never knowing it is a “problem.”
Now, on a different note, I recently asked a question based on my interaction with “gay” men I have encountered periodically in my life. Notice, I did not say homosexual men, but I said “gay men”, because there are no homosexual men. Instead, these are the heterosexual men who have substituted the gay lifestyle as their repairative therapy in their life to cope with their ongoing internal sexuality identity crisis. I asked this question on the Yahoo! Answers website; which is definitely not the place to go for 100% factual truth, however it does give a good sampling of what people really believe and are really being taught. spend an hour on Yahoo! Answers, and you will be alarmed at what some people honestly believe is the truth. Here is a screenshot of my question, along with the answer that was voted as the “Best Answer” by the Yahoo site users out of the 20 or 30 answers given, along with my comment after the question was closed, explaining the irony of the answer that was chosen as best (which was actually left by a gay man in fact, proving my point).
Tags: absent father, father, father absent, father missing, female, gay, gays, gender identity, gender identity crisis, hetero, heterosexual, homo, homosexual, homosexual myth, homosexuality, lack of a father, lack of father, male, missing father, mother, myth, myths, parenting, role-model
You are ignorant. narrow-minded and evil
I am narrow minded because I presented a sound opinion, backed up by hard facts about parenting, yet I am narrow-minded? My whole premise is based on the fact that being gay is not a choice or genetic. People who say either of those are the ones being narrow-minded, not realizing that is comes from a multitude of influencial factors. Homosexual people are loved just as much by God as heterosexual people. God loves Osama Bin Laden as uch as he loves Mother Theresa…that is my stance, and yes I am a Christian. How is anything I said narrow minded, much less evil? I am guessing that you made that comment after reading one or two sentences…just skipped to the bottom and commented.
UPDATE…
So, a while ago, some of you may have noticed that I changed my comments settings to be moderated, because I was getting a lot of hate speech and even threats on here, instead of a conversation. Also, people started harping on each other and using my comment section as a venue for personal attacks rather than just disussing the topic, so I set my comments to require approval before they post. Well, since then I have gotten over 50 comments, that STILL do not address the issue, and are from the SAME people who were personally insulting me, rather than just giving me their opinion and genuinely talking about the subject. So, instead of posting 50+ comments of hatred and immature banter, I will post a few quotes, all from different posters, directly from the comments without any editing, and let you decide which side has been the mature and clear-thinking side in all of this…
Comment One: “Connor, sir or ma’am. With all due respect, I respect the fact that you have backed up your research of homosexuality. However, let’s discuss the other affects of parenting and the outcome of other lifestyles, how did we get focused on same sex relationships? What ever happened to the cause of crime in this country, all of the drug and alcohol abuser, domestic violence causers?”
Answer: You are asking why on a blog about homosexuality we are discussing homosexuality? Hmm, well it seems pretty clear that we have to choose SOME topic, and since the topic of my original post was about homosexuality and the parenting involved in that, then that is why we are discussing it. I guess it is just common sense to me, but if you want to talk about violence and drugs and crime, then why did you comment on THIS post? This has nothing to do with that. This is a classic case of misdirection. Politicians do it all the time. You ask them a question about health care and they launch into a dialog about Global Warming…WHAT? Stay on topic people, and answer the QUESTION, not just spouting out whatever your agenda is in your head.
Comment Two: “I am a biracial young woman; I already have three strikes against me. I come from a mixed background, I am woman, and I am young. Did I choose this, NO!”
Answer One: Boo-hoo, cry me a river! You want me to feel sorry for you? You want a free handout from the government? Lemme guess, you voted for Obama, thinking he would make your car and house payment for you so you could quit your job, sit at home on the couch, sulking about being biracial and young and a woman. Wow, so whatever happened to the American who picked themselves up by their bootstraps and pushed forward in the face of adversity no matter what the circumstances or who they were? You want me to feel sorry for you because you are just another human like me? Are you really using the things that should be your strengths, and presenting them as your weaknesses? Nevermind the fact that this has NOTHING to do with the topic.
Comment Three: “I want you to say something negative towards me, because I’ve dealt with people like yourself before and I made them sorry they were born”
Answer Three: Why would you intentionally want to hurt someone and say something like this to me? Why would you say that you want me to feel like I was never born? Again, this is 100% pure hate. Please go ahead and quote me, and find ANYTHING that I have said in hatred to prove a point? Please, quote hatred from anything I have typed; I challenge you to find one sentence that I wrote in hatred. You will not find it, yet I get this hate speech and personal threats? Thanks, welcome to my blog, where I present my opinion backed up with social and factual examples, and in return the left wants to make me feel like I was never born…? Hmm, I do not see any facts in the statement, but maybe this is something said by someone who has no facts, and just hatred in his heart. Seems to be the common sense explanation to me.
Need I go on? All the comments that were awaiting my moderation were useless and filled with insults, slurs, cussing, put downs, and threats. I present a valid proposal, my opinion, and all I get in return is “you are narrow minded” or “i will make you wish you were never born”, instead of actually getting a discussion on the matter or people telling me THEIR point of view. Come on, give me something to discuss, not just insults to have to go through and spend my weekend removing. Come on people…Does the left have ANYTHING intelligible to say to my original post? Please don’t reply if you just want to threaten or insult me. That just proves your immaturity, nothing else.
ok, iv never read your blog before and i came on here through a link to fotc, but hey.
are you saying that being attracted to the same sex as you is a mental issue? i’m not sure if i agree with you or not, but as a christian with gay friends its a topic i feel i ought to know a bit more about.
What college did you go to?
What a stark reminder that ignorant, intolerant morons still exist. Keep patting yourself on the back for being righteous, man. Hope it works out for you.
From a psychological standpoint, since the late 70′s we’ve known that nature vs. nurture is an obsolete generalization. In fact, barring traumatic experiences, children adapt their personality from their peers and their parents have little to do with that final outcome besides their genetic contribution. There’s been extensive studies which show that coming from a single parent home, versus a traditional American family, does nothing, in itself, to contribute to a child’s eventual outcome.
This isn’t for or against your opinion on homosexuality. I simply felt is was proper that you understand the psychological impact of the family better before making such broad assumptions.
Am I right in thinking that what you are saying is if a child grows up with a single parent, they will grow up and have homosexual tendencies (if they are a girl living with her father, or a boy living with his mother?
You are generalizing something that no one can be sure of.
How can you think you understand how a homosexual person feels, assuming you are not gay?
UNT, a liberal arts school actually where the liberal crazy teachers run rampant, blaming the government for all their problems, expecting a handout, and saying there are no moral absolutes and everyone uses “situational ethics” (i.e.: no right and wrong), because it is easier and requires less personal responsibility. It took all my effort just to survive in that cesspool.
So, I am ignorant because I have done my research, used pure logic in my case, and presented my view in a totally sound manner, or am I a moron for having morals, believing in right and wrong, and loving my Savior and Creator, Jesus? Which one are you accusing me of being an idiot for? I will accept the title for either, gladly.
#1 – What you just said is the typical line taught in your Sociology 101 class. I assume you never made it farther than that?
#2 – You say “their parents have little to do with that final outcome besides their genetic contribution”: Then why is it that children who come from stable homes with two parents involved in their lives on a daily basis, statistically are more successful and well-balanced in life? these same children also have a much lower chance of being involved in a crime, or being involved in a teenage pregnancy, etc…
Saying that parents have little influence in how a child is shaped and who he/she becomes is a blatantly irresponsible statement. Put two children in a bubble. Give one parents and friends, and just give the other friends. Which one do you think will have more of a moral preparedness for life? the one who learned from experienced parents, or the one who learned from other inexperienced kids like him? It is illogical to say that peers can influence a child, and not the parents. It is also a cop-out statement that is usually given by the leftist in this country who want schools and government to raise their kids for them, rather than parents having to do their own hard work, and that is pathetic.
I never said that all kids who have single parent homes grow up gay….That was an absolute statement that YOU said. Do not put words in my mouth. What I said can easily be summed up in this…find me one homosexual man who has a strong healthy relationship with his father, and did so growing up also….
Well, I’m waiting. (you cannot deny that is is the one major contributing factor)
Now, to answer your second question…first of all, the question is flawed. I never said I understand how a homosexual person feels. I said I know how they “think” they feel. You see, a homosexual does not truly know who they are, because if they did they would be heterosexually oriented. A homosexual man, is a damaged man that needs to find out he really is. It is like a piece of ice in a freezer. That ice does not know it is in the freezer, so it will continue to remain frozen, regardless of what it thinks. Until the “gay” man investigates his childhood, and how he got to the position he is in today, then he will continue to remain “gay”, convinced that he is just that way, no matter what.
If you just take one thing away from this, hear me now. You know how many “gay” men say “Why would I choose to be gay if I know people will just ridicule me and call me names? Do you think I want that” – This is a cry for help from “gay” men. They are not living their true lives as heterosexual men, and so they do not understand why they are being persecuted. It is a vicious cycle they get into and eventually they see this as “prejudice” against who they are. But being homosexual is not who they are…it is hideaway mentality to escape their childhood. Claiming to be “gay” is the easiest way that a man with these problems can explain it all away, and just move on and not think about it. I mean come on, who actually wants to think about their lacking childhood and the fact that they never truly identified with a male figure. What man wants to admit that the male role is foreign to him? It is much easier to just claim to be gay, subconsciously, rather than deal with all the pain and inadequacies of his childhood. This is the bottom line, and I have not stated any religion or fanaticaly point of view here, my view is 100% logical, yet men who claim to be “gay” remain in denial. You cannot call me ignorant, or a biggot, or prejudice, or mean, or evil, or close-minded, because I believe I am the only person among all these comment that actually has investigated this topic extensively and come to these conclusions through facts.
I will end with this. I have never once met a homosexual man that had a strong relationship with his father. Find me the “gay” men who have a good relationship with their father, and I will back off. Like I said, I have met many “gay” men, and not one of them has anything good to say about their father, or any truly glowing comments about their childhood.
I like your post and ideas. I guess i’m homosexual – i don’t act gay like. But i am attracted to guys. I’ve been doing some thinking too and i definitely agree with you. The gay community just seems … wrong for some reason, even though i myself and gay. It just seems tooo weird, with no bounds or rules to govern their lives. I would love to have a discussion with you. Don’t be offended if i do not reply for a lloooooonnng while though. I’m currently in university and life’s… well a bitch sometimes. Hope to hear a reply from you. And please, keep the header “gay worded” free as i am not out. I prefer to keep it that way. I don’t want any attention, nor do i want people pressuring me to go out with a guy should they find out. Cause i don’t want to. And yes, i am christian too =)
Hope to hear from you.
Cheers!
Daniel.
Kids, this is super-easy, even for the “slow” ones (primarily “gay”).
There is no homosexuality, not even in nature. There is, however, BIsexuality, which is usually in the “training phase” of males, and even females, as animals, and indeed humans, figure out what goes where, and does what to whom. Now, I feel the darkside of your arguments spewing forth from your mighty gobs of BS. (Not the author, I mean the others)
Let me reiterate some common sense: In nature, there is no such a thing as “Gay”. Nor will there ever be. There is, however, TEMPORAL Bisexualism, generally when young males don’t know what they are doing, and practice the physics on each other, in preparation for the “Real Deal” with females. Oddly, this trait automatically disappears as soon as a female comes along who would like to breed.
End of “Gay”, that simple, that easy. Except with “Gays”, they intentionally walk the other direction from “normal”, they make the choice also to STAY abnormal. So yes, it is a mental aberration they have, an inverse habit, of habitual thinking, to normal.
“Having thoughts” are what seperate us from animals. Unfortunately, gays don’t seem to have any actual self-control, and are basically ignorant addicts, that don’t understand the real world. They are so self-absorbed, they want only what THEY want, and strive to be “unique” in the most backwards and unproductive way possible. They usually cannot assimilate into society, therefore, create their own (in these days). In other words, they have no social training, so stick to their own, in fear of Biology. Therefore, I always tell TRUE Christians, “Fear not peoples of Earth, if we can’t run them out, we will BREED them out.”
After all, nature doesn’t tolerate mutations, or devolution, nor sideways evolution for very long. True humans are able to control their thoughts, through an oft-forgotten thing called “willpower”, which American society has lost. It is just like common sense in fact, it isn’t so common anymore. The truth is, the more “intellectual” a society and technologically advanced, the more morally bankrupt and skewed from norm it is. It is simply the “natural curve” of empires, especially right before they collapse.
Never feel sorry, as a Christian, for a man too stupid, or intentionally ignorant, who sticks his hand in a meat-grinder, then cries to you. Your job is only, after all, to keep all the other sheep in the field, not bring mangled wolves to the flock for conversion they do not want.
Hence, accept not the fake Christians, their full amount of faith without works. There is no need to argue with them.
After all, I do not seek people out simply to argue and justify my OWN existence, now do I?
But….”gays” always do. Guilt will out, and out they are in droves, begging you, and vilifying you to accept them as “righteous”, and normal. Most criminals hide not alone, but with others of their same kind, and always in amongst the good people who look the other way, not because it is hard, but especially because it is easy.
I never have to justify myself to others in order to exist. That is how you know they are wrong…..and you are not. If they were simply smart enough to be quiet….no one would smack them down. Unfortunately, I think we already understand their problems stem from intentional ignorance of what is normal and natural…..
As the author of this blog, I do NOT endorse this comment. Furthermore, the statements made in this comment are inflammatory and based on a deep-set hatred, which comes from ignorance about homosexuality. It is trite, insulting, and not representative of the Christian viewpoint WHATSOEVER. This type of comment is harsh and arbitrary and does not belong in a healthy discussion. Keep in mind, readers, that I am completely disagreeing with this comment, even though he says he backs up and supports me. None of that matters to me if the person saying it is out of line, and incorrect. The comment above is NOT from a true Christian perspective, and the Bible discusses this and says watch out for false prophets. Well, you might think “prophet” is a strong word, but this is someone, who in the name of Christianity, is making comments that do not mesh with established christian viewpoints at all.
To the commenter – when you say things like “we will breed them out” and “gays are basically ignorant addicts”, then you only show your own ignorance about the subject. If you choose to post again, then post something that actually contributed to the discussion, rather than inflammatory rhetoric that applies to nobody. Please keep this a healthy discussion, if you choose to participate. Again, this is the author saying, this comment was unwarranted and inappropriate.
I enjoy your dedication to logical thinking and constructive criticism of what has been largely left unexplained in my mind for a long time. I have of course also come to a similar conclusion on such things in regards to the family unit and nurture.
There are things about myself that I truly do hate from my childhood and feel I have in fact suffered some sort of damage from now that I am in my early twenties and have been at a sexual standstill since my childhood.
Society today is lazy. They offer quick advice like “it’s just the way it is and you have to accept it”, but I choose to live my life in a way that will continue to improve and become meaningful… which I suppose is what led me to this blog.
I hate what I am, not because of the opinions of others or fear or anything of that nature, but because of the logical meaning of it in my mind and in nature.
A biological creature like a man that doesn’t reproduce is obviously defective and will not succeed in the grand scheme of life and evolution therefore there must be a fundamental problem.
I feel I should first explain these things so that you can understand my position and sincerity in the matter.
I grew up with a family like any other, my father’s side of the family is basically emotionally numb and my mother’s side is pretty much the opposite. I have an older sister who for the most part treated me as her little sister until I was about 6.
I never really didn’t get along with my father, I just never liked being around him or my mother once I became 8 and their presence infuriated me. I believe my current hatred towards them is a lingering regret I hold to myself for being “gay” and a shame to the idea that I may be “broken”.
I have never been attracted to a woman, only men. Sometimes I try to become aroused to straight porn or ideas but it just doesn’t do a thing for me.
Ever since I was little I always behaved a little girly and when I became aware of it I immediately retreated into a world of isolation and stone to protect my self image and nothing has changed since.
What I want to know is this:
If this is something that is a patch, if what you say is true and the only reason I have these tendencies is because of a lack of connection to a real male image in my life, to someone I could actually respect and want to grow into being, then is it too late?
Is the damage done and now that I have these attractions to solely one spectrum it will always be this way?
I don’t think going out and chopping wood with my father or having a heart to heart is exactly going to do anything, I still just hate being around them altogether.
But is it possibly that another male role model could help it out? Or perhaps just a female in heat to set things “straight” and slowly adjust towards.
If you’re laughing at my ignorance towards sexual experiences then that’s fine. I wouldn’t be on this blog in the first place if I wasn’t extremely depressed and prepared to “cut the diseased limb from the tree” so to speak.
The idea of repair though seems like a direction I would like to take my life towards though but I’ve just never heard of something like that ever happening at this stage.
Not all of us are as fancy as the people in the streets and showing pride in being mentally retarded to a degree. I would love more than anything to be a complete person and fulfill my role in life… but I just don’t think you can change attraction to something that easily.
Anyway, you seem like an intelligent individual and someone who has some REAL theories so I’d like to know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Thanks
Wow James, first of all, I have to say thank you for posting on my blog, and I must apologize for not replying sooner. I get over 100 spam comments a week on this blog, and sometimes am just to tired to go through them all and determine which ones are real or not. I am glad I found yours though
Now, to address your main concern, No, it is never “too late” to turn the tables on a situation, so to speak. You are in a better place than most with this issue actually; in that you recognize the problem, and are willing to confront it. Most people in your shoes are either in denial, or have not grown out of their immaturity to see that the real cause to their problem is complex, and that they are not just “that way”, despite what society may say, as you have pointed out. I have so much that I want to talk to you about, however, I feel that a public comment/blog post is probably not the best forum for further discussion about your personal situation; so I will send you an individual email, about my thoughts and any suggestions I might be able to give, privately. With that said, I do not claim to be an expert on the matter, but I am willing to give any advice/help that I can. I also want to know more about you and your situation, and hear more of what you have to say, because I believe your desire to change is definitely strong enough to make it happen. I will be emailing you soon James; thanks so much for baring your soul on this blog; I believe you have really taken a powerful step! 